Training Camp (By the Disciple)

Cardinal Camp

It is 6 AM. I am sitting in front of my computer at the darken kitchen. I am frantically copying and pasting random sections of an essay to create a somewhat fluid narrative. The assignment is due in 12 hours, but I have plans today. It is the last day of a chapter of my life. The doorbell rings. The water from my brother’s shower shuts off.

It is time.

“Nation.” He says.

“Good morning to you too.” I respond.

“Are you ready for this?” He says.

“I’ve been ready for this my whole life.” I say.

“I love it, Nation.” He says.

My brother appears from his bedroom.

“Mike, good to see you.” My brother says.

“You ready for Champ camp?” Mike says.

“Champ camp?” I say.

“NFC Champion Camp.” Mike says.

“Are you serious?” My brother says.

“Is that what they are calling it?” I question.

“Fucking Nation baby. Champ Camp!” Mike says.

This was my plan for the day. Champ Camp in Flagstaff, Arizona. The journey begins at 6 AM.

“How could you leave Nation?” Mike says.

“I am bringing it to Texas. It is time to broaden the horizons.” I say.

I am lodged between Mike and Allen in the backseat of my Uncle’s SUV. I have known these two guys for 8 years. I have worked with both of them. They are both Cardinals fans and we are heading up to camp. My uncle is driving with my brother in the passenger seat.

I have been visiting the Cardinals training camp since 1994. I missed a year or two while I was caught up living. But this year was different. Later that week I was moving away form the Nest. I planned on moving to Austin, TX. This would cause me to break the bond of Nation with everyone in this vehicle. I had been seated next to my Uncle for almost every home game since 2000. This was the most difficult thing about the decision to grow up and test myself in a new city.

“I have never seen so many people here.” Allen says.

“Why is that girl wearing a dress and make up.” My brother says.

“This is what happens when you win a few games.” My Uncle says.

“It’s fucking Nation.” Mike finishes.

We drive up on a Monday morning. The drive from Chandler is about two and half hours. We arrive at the Northern Arizona Campus shortly before the practice is set to begin. These practices are opened to the public. The usually people in attendance are overweight locals who called in sick to work, or die hard fans from the Valley. In grand total there is usually about 150 people watching the Cards. This year, there are over 2,500 fans that are chanting and starting waves just to be part of the action.

“These people understand this is just a practice.” My brother says.

“They love the Nation.” Mike says.

‘You love nation. My brother loves nation. These are bandwagoners.” My brother says.

“We’ll take them any way we an get them.” Mike says.

“Did they open the concession stand yet?” Allen asks.

“I hope so, I need a hot dog.” Mike says.

“It’s eight thirty in the morning.” I say.

“I just need a Nation dog to get this started.” Mike says.

Before this continues, you have to understand Mike. After you hang out with Mike, you become a fan of Mike. He is more of an entity than a human. He is not a caricature, because he is very bright. Rather, he makes fun of himself for the enjoyment of others. I like to think of him as George W. Bush. See, Bush was never that dumb, he just knew how to entertain. That’s what Mike is. He is an entertainer and utilizes the word Nation in any part of a sentence in replacement of any part of speech as his tool.

“Do you like my hat?” Mike asks.

“Did you just buy it?” I ask.

“Yeah, what do you think?” Mike asks.

“How much did they charge you for that?” Allen asks.

“Thirty bucks.” Mike answers.

“For a hat?” I ask.

“It’s normally forty. I got ten bucks off for having my Nation card.” Mike says.

“You do know that Nation doesn’t actually exist.” My brother says.

“Season ticket holders get ten bucks off. Look.” Mike says.

Mike pulls out a red card given to Cardinal season ticket holders. This card entitles the cardholder to a certain discount on merchandise bought directly from the Cardinals. Therefore, yes, Mike technically has a Nation card.

The practice ended and the crew was left with a few idol hours in Flagstaff prior to the afternoon practice. In past years, there have been trips to the top of a mountain, miniature golfing, visit to an astronomy museum and the viewing of “Jurassic Park 3.” (Yes, they made three of them.) But, this would be the most interesting of any of them.

A vegan restaurant.

My uncle has recently changed his diet and this has caused him to go from a carnivorous Italian male, to a vegan. It has also caused him to get much healthy and feel better than he has in years. Unfortunately, the other members of the Champ camp crew are not nearly as motivated for this diet change. I am not a vegan and along with the rest of the car would have enjoyed some American food. But, I also think of myself as being open minded and I engage myself in the challenge of eating vegan and enjoying it. Lastly, whenever I am around my Uncle I develop this knack to be very liberal and different. My uncle and I develop ourselves into our own world in which nothing from the outside can penetrate unless you are another uber cool independent thinker.

This is the story.

The name of the restaurant is Macy’s. It is located directly across the street from a brewpub in Flagstaff. The brewpub is recognizable as the location that Allen broke his finger playing billiards against my brother and I during a camp visit years ago. It is funny what a place can do to trigger your memory; as that entire trip was forgotten until the moment we saw the pool tables.

“Are we eating here?” Mike says.

“I think they are just getting coffee.” Allen says.

“Where is the menu?” Anthony says.

“What is this place.” Mike says.

These are actual spoken lines that I can hear as I am in line with my Uncle. We are a few people ahead of the rest of the crew as they try to calculate exactly where they are and why they are there. The entire restaurant is vegan, but they do have eggs. These eggs are cage-free and farm fresh, therefore I do not know the bylaws of the vegan community and think this still passes.

My uncle orders and rather than looking like a fool, I simply say that I will have the same thing. Truth is, I am not as well versed in the proper actions of the ultra-liberal community. I am learning and have become better than I was previously, but still I have a ways to go.

My uncle and I leave the line with our iced 10 beverages in hand. The other three from the crew are scratching their heads and looking at the menu on the wall. When I say this, I am being completely honest. I wish I could use some vivid descriptions to create the scene but it would be a lie. They look like the three stooges trying to decipher a new script in Hindu.

We are seated outside. Next to use is a table of six with each member wearing at least one clothing article made of the material of hemp. There are dogs in every direction and it would appear that Flagstaff has had a razor shortage as no one within 100 yards has shaved in over a week.

“So, are you ready for Austin?” My uncle asks.

“I think so.” I answer.

“It’s a very liberal city.” My uncle says.

“Probably going to be a lot like it is here.” I say.

“Probably, but bigger.” My uncle says.

“Have you ever been there?” I ask.

“A few times. Everything is big.” My uncle answers.

“Everything’s bigger in Texas.” I say.

“How are your parent’s doing with the change?” My uncle asks.

“They are doing ok right now. I think they still don’t believe it’s really going to happen.” I answer.

“It’s going to happen.” My uncle says.

“That’s what I keep telling them.” I say.

A few moments pass as both my uncle and I take in the moment. We can take the conversation in any direction from sports to politics to literature. But, we choose to enjoy the scenery and silence for a few beats. We are both thinking of the same thing. The fact that everything within my life is about to change. Therefore, everything in my uncle’s life that has to do with me will be changed. The thing that will be the biggest challenge is the connection of the Cardinals and how that has shaped both of our lives.

“How long does it take to make vegan food?” My brother asks.

“It’s just a bunch of vegetables.” Allen responds.

“They don’t even have to cook anything.” Mike says.

“They have to cut the vegetables fresh from the garden in the back.” My uncle says.

“Really?” Allen asks.

“I don’t know, just wondering how vegetables take so long to make into a salad.” My uncle answers.

The food does arrive. I have a egg and cheese sandwich. Mike has the same. Allen has a Greek salad. My uncle has a vegetarian sandwich. Anthony has a salad and cup of lentil soup. The table eats in relative silence. The restaurant is on the street so the occasion vehicle drives by causing for the wind gust to shift a few of the napkins and provides some noise pollution. Everyone finishes all of their food and within minutes we are walking into downtown Flagstaff. Allen and my uncle walk ahead of Anthony, Mike and I. They are outside of earshot when I start asking Mike questions.

“What did you think of lunch?” I ask.

“It was alright.” Anthony says.

“That was definitely not Nation food.” Mike answers.

“What exactly is Nation food?” I ask.

“Not that.” Mike answers.

“I should have had the chick”yun” sandwich.” Anthony says.

“What is that?” Mike asks.

“Tofu chicken.” I answer.

“They tried to give me that shit as bacon.” Mike says.

“What?” I ask.

“I wanted to order a BLT. But, I asked if they could give me real bacon.” Mike says.

“It’s a vegan restaurant.” I answer.

“If they were nation, they would have hooked me up with some bacon.” Mike says.

As we find ourselves back to the vehicle and prepping ourselves for the next round of fun in Flagstaff, we lose Mike. We look back and notice that he has found a hotdog stand. He has a few dollars out and hands it to the vendor and gets his hot dog. He finally found that Nation food he was yearning for.

The location for the rest of the trip prior to the afternoon practice was a bookstore. This was welcome for me as I needed some time away to gather my thoughts. I have a tendency to need these “time’s away” in order to keep my composure. I find myself becoming very irritable when I am not in control of a situation and something is not going as I have planned it. I am working on this and think this is a point of my maturity out of college and into real life. The closest people tell me I have a problem with authority, they are right but I will fight them on the notion. Does that not emphasis their point even more?

“What’s that?” I ask.

“I have a test tomorrow.” Mike answers.

“Real Estate?” I ask.

“I need to get a 70 percent.” Mike answers.

“Is that what you want to do?” I ask.

“I don’t want to keep working at the hotel.” Mike answers.

“Hope it works out for you.” I say.

“Why are you going to Texas?” Mike asks.

“Change of scenery.” I answer.

“You moving with your girl?” Mike asks.

“Her and her sister.” I answer.

“That’ll be good.” Mike says.

“You need to come visit.” I say.

“When Nation plays there, I’ll be there.” Mike says.

I left Mike at the coffee shop section of the bookstore. He looked to be in deep thought as he was mulling over the questions on the State Real Estate test. That was the first time in my life I have actually witnessed Mike ever studying.

Allen took my seat as I looked back before I entered the music section. He had a football magazine and a cup of soup. My brother was right behind with a different magazine on football and a cookie. The men of nation were at their posts to engage their minds in many different ways.

My uncle was listening at a listening station when I walked by. He pulled me over and had me listen to a song by one of the Marley kids and Jack Johnson. It was good and predictable. He wondered around the section for a while and I moved in the opposite way. I had my notebook in one hand as I was trying to get some writing done. The thing about the art of writing is that you never know what you will write about and when you will do so. Therefore, I was prepared if enlightenment hit me in that store. But, I was in no means prepared to sit down as my concentration had evaded me. My girlfriend was getting back the next day. I had been thinking about her every moment that I did not distract myself with another activity. I had not truly visited with her in two weeks and it had been three weeks since we last spent quality time together. I was nervous and scared for tomorrow to come as people can change a lot in three weeks.

I listened to a dozen samples of albums and began writing down songs. It started as a way to remember to purchase at a later date as my memory is awful sometimes but amazing with other things. I started this list and it developed into a play list. I would make a CD for my girlfriend and when she gets back the following day we could listen to it and everything would be ok. That was the plan and it made me happy. The list was underway and I began the research to make the best album ever.

This album took a few hours for me to complete. I had a long list of songs, too many for one CD. I had the plan to edit the list when I returned home that afternoon and burn the CD to give to her when I saw her again. I walked back to the café. The entire crew was there. My uncle reading the New Yorker, Anthony with a different sports magazin, Allen looking at an Entertainment magazine and Mike still studying. It was the first time it sunk it that I had changed. I had matured away from these people. These were my closest friends I have known for the better portion of my working memory and I was about to break away. I fit into this mold and have grown out of it. I was not alone, as each of these men have also evolved.

Allen is a father. Mike is a manager at a hotel and soon to be real estate agent. Anthony is having his girlfriend move in. My uncle is seeing life clearer than he could have ever imagined and it is causing him to love it a whole lot more.

These people have evolved. We have all evolved in different ways and have become different people. We now have different responsibilities and interests. We have lives outside of sports and leisure. We have careers we want to change or start. We are becoming intelligent.

The rest of the afternoon was spent discussing every sport. That is the link that will never change with the men of nation. Sports will always be the common ground when our philosophies on life and war are opposite. When our emphasizes change from video games to babies diapers. We will always have sports.

We drove down the hill that afternoon in silence. We listened to sports talk radio and shared a few opinions on the topics. I understood that this was the last time that I would see most of these people for a while. I understood that I should not take the time to be sad, but excited for the next chapter. We arrived home and shared our good-byes. It was the last ever Cards Camp in this atmosphere. I am going to miss you adolescence, but look forward to the challenge of adulthood. Members of the nation, join me in this new chapter.

“That’s not Nation.” Mike says.

“What happened?” I ask.

“They wouldn’t take this hat back.” Mike answers.

“Didn’t you just buy that hat?” I ask.

“I don’t like it anymore.” Mike answer.

“You have it stained right there.” I say.

“I wanted to exchange it for a shirt. The shirt was cheaper too.” Mike says.

“Did you tell them you were Nation?” I ask.

“I did. They said I needed a receipt.” Mike says.

“What happened to your receipt?” I ask.

“I threw it away.” Mike answers.

“Why?” I ask.

“I didn’t need it.” Mike answers.

“You need it now.” I say.

“Yeah, but I don’t have it.” Mike answers.

That was the last conversation at Champ Camp. Mike was left with an over-priced Nation hat that was stained.

God, I am going to miss the members of Nation. But, this year will unite us as we progress to the future of our existence.

This blog will continue through the duration of the season. I will be blogging from my new city of Austin, TX. It will take on a different form each week and there will be no boundaries.

In the Nation we believe!

Thanks for reading. Talk to you soon.

Kurt (By the Disciple)

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/01/sports/football/01warner.html?pagewanted=1

Live every moment with the joy of a child and you will understand the beauty of the big picture.

Protean (by the Disciple)

Protean.

It has come to this. It is finally upon us.

The game is about 48 hours away and I can still not believe it.

It is like Christmas for a child or the wedding day for lovers. It is a day that has been planned for and dreamed about since thought began. The moment finally gets so close you can touch it and you have no idea how to comprehend it all.

I want to first of all thank everyone. I have no idea what will happen in a few days and how it will change everything. But, before we get to that day, I want to extend a warm feeling to all of those who read this. I want to thank you for taking time out to listen to me.

Like most writers I am very self-conscious and have little confidence; but this has been my outlet. Thank you for reading this and allowing me the faint glimmer that I am an actual good writer and I entertained you.

With that taken care of, onto business. I have started with a one-word title. It is written as a nod to the great John Updike. John passed away earlier this week and I have never met him but read his work. So, as a reader, I will utilize the word that best described him as a person.

Protean is stemmed from Latin. It is an adjective to describe changing identity. It is understood that you are of many skills and possibilities and have a high skill set that will allow you to adapt to any situation.

I would like to think that I have this characteristic but like with anything in life you will never know until you are tested.

The Cardinals could be described perfectly with this word. They are a team that has changed and morphed and evolved in front of our eyes. They are a team that has shifted the criticism of millions for years of losing. In one season they have become trendy.

In the Valley it has boomed into chaos. The Cardinals are the toast of the town and people are displaying their new allegiance with the greatness that is the Cardinals on a daily basis.

This is an amazing accomplishment and causes a smile across my face. I do not truly know how to express the feeling it causes. Every time I think of the circumstances I begin to lose myself from the moment.

I begin to think back to all of the pain and heartache that I have felt. It’s not even that I felt it as much as I experienced it.

The Godfather is the patriarch of all of this. He is my Uncle and my mentor. I have shaped myself in the mold that he has created. I am the person I am because of him and I want to dedicate this to him.

He is the person in my life that keeps challenging me. He is the inspiration that I strive for. He introduced me to the Cardinals. It was an introduction that was not easy; but nothing worthwhile ever is.

My family and I moved from the East Coast to Arizona in 1994. I was all of 10 years old. My uncle lived out here and I had never truly known him. I had an understanding of who he was and he sent me Christmas presents; but there was nothing concrete past that.

We moved to Arizona and thus began the love with for the Cardinals. It was easy to love the Cardinals because they were so accessible. We would go to games and watch with 20,000 of our closest friends as they tried hopelessly against the best teams in the league.

People would beat the Cardinals down and constantly look at how horrible they were. Then there was my uncle, unwavering in his passion. He was always collected and measured with his understanding of the Cardinals.

He was Zen-like with his patience for the team and was a crusader to keep the Cardinals up when everyone else pushed them down.

I was part of the masses, too. I would make fun of the Cardinals and boo when they were getting beat badly. I was right on that bandwagon to execute anyone inside of the Cardinal organization.

This is not all in the past either as just a few years ago I was still in this thought process.

I was walking on campus of Arizona State University when I ran into Bill Bidwell. He was exiting his car and I noticed who he was by his amazing attire. I walked up to him and acknowledged who he was. He appeared to be excited by the fact of being recognized. I prompted to tell him:

“Bill, can you do me a favor? Sell the team so they can win.”

Then I walked away. I didn’t wait for a response or anything and left him confused with what had just happened.

The next anecdote will be the turning point on when I knew that I loved this team and will no matter what ever happened.

The Stoic had come into town and we went to the last game of the year against the Minnesota Vikings. The Cardinals had 3 wins and were in line to get the number one pick in the draft. The Vikings needed to win in order to make the play-offs

Prior to the game we made numerous signs that were negative and blasted the Cardinals. We also proceeded to climb to the top of the upper deck and wear paper bags over our face to show how we felt when we mentioned we were Cardinal fans.

The game ended with the Cardinals winning on the last play with an improbable 30-yard touchdown pass. The Stoic and I couldn’t believe it and we tore of the bags and assumed our identity as one of the few true Cardinal fans.

Those stories did indeed happen and they come to light with the current situation that we have. The Cardinals are about to play in the Super Bowl. They have become the hot item and they have become the trendy team to like. This is only because they are winning.

I go back to my Uncle as my mentor because he has never wavered. He has always stayed supportive. It is a way of thinking he lives by not only for his football team for his life.

In life it is easy to join the crowd and feel the pressure to act in a certain way because people expect that of you. It is difficult to follow your heart and do the thing that is not accepted.

We are constantly placed in a situation that causes us to question our true identity. Identity is a very difficult thing as it is a variable that changes everyday. Our personal identity is something that we cannot be sure of from hour to hour.

We need to become more protean with our actions. We need to become more skillful and prepared for everything that will happen in our lives.

If you want to become a true Cardinal fan you need to understand this. You need to understand that everything in life is difficult and the best moments are usually had in the most difficult times.

When everyone has abandoned you and your cause; but you remain standing for it you become liberated. When everyone doubts you and believes that there is no way that it will work out, but you keep working to prove them wrong that motivates you.

Challenge everything and be prepared for the success that will follow.

My uncle is my mentor and he is the reason I am the person that I am today.

Everyone that is reading this has changed my life and will continue to do so in the future. To what level or where the journey may take us, let’s just enjoy it.

Enjoy the company you hold Sunday and I am already tearing up at the end of this to think that I get to sit next to my uncle and family and the people I love in my life and enjoy this brilliant moment with them.

I am sappy today but that’s what happens when a dream is about to come true.

Let’s enjoy that dream as one on Sunday and I cannot wait to see everyone that has a piece of my heart for the magic we are about to create.

Take care and I will be talking to you again.

Love ya and don’t get caught thinking too much and ruin the moment.

Tillman (By the Disciple)

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/31/sports/football/31tillman.html?_r=1&hp

Can you ever talk about heroes too much?

Remember the sacrifice made by Pat before every action and that will allow you to follow your heart.

Centered (by the Disciple)

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/29/sports/football/29linebacker.html?_r=1

Once you find your center; you will find the truest sense of yourself.

Content (by the Disciple)

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/writers/peter_king/01/27/plummer/index.html

Here is another link to an article about Jake Plummer. Jake was the favorite son of the Valley starting at ASU and then being drafted by the Cardinals. You would think that would have caused him happiness.

But, like most people he is finding it where no one ever expected him to.

Be content with your life. Be content with everything that you are doing. It is your life; not anyone else's. Listen to the advice of those whose opinion you value; but you need to be the one acting with your heart.

Lead the life you have imagined; love each day like those when you were a child and everything was happening to you for the very first time.

Be well and talk to you soon.

Never Forget (by the Disciple)

http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-plaschke-pat-tillman25-2009jan25,0,3264247.column

Let's never forget who has come before us. Never forget the sacrifice that everyone has made to exist in the moment.

We still love you Pat and those heroes we never personally meet.

Redemption (by the Disciple)

Redemption.

Ok, so, um. It happened?! The Arizona Cardinals are going to the Super Bowl. The Arizona Cardinals are going to the Super Bowl.

Ladies and gentlemen, as an optimist and positive person at most times, I can honestly tell you that I never thought that I would have saw the day that this would happen.

I started this blog during a rough time in my life. It was a time of loneliness and search. It was created as a distraction by my closest friends to get me to write again.

Red Nation 2009 was even mis-titled as the year was obviously 2008. From the beginning it was just a method to sound off on my personal life translated through the guise of the Cardinals.

In many ways, nothing has changed in the thought that I still just sit here and rant about life and the Cardinals. But now a breakthrough has happened. The Cardinals have won the NFC and are now able to move onto the Super Bowl.

Another breakthrough has happened as I am happy again. Imagine that. So, the Cardinals win the NFC and I find happiness again.

Two things that at one point seemed completely unattainable are now a reality.

I can not tell you exactly what happened to both of these entities that have caused them to find themselves.

Was it the endless amount of high draft picks that allowed the Cardinals to finally find some talent?

Was it the luck of a schedule that allowed them to play the weakest of opponents every week including in the play-offs?

Or, was it the fact that the Cardinals actually earned some redemption?

Was it the fact that after decades of being the worst team in the history of sport, they were finally able to breakthrough over all of the doubts and conquer?

It was their redemption.

Redemption is interesting as it is always attained after the worst struggle. Redemption is something that is never received as a gift or anything like that. It is something that is understood and embraced as the ending of a long journey.

This is true as the feeling that you get when you earn that redemption is something completely foreign to you at the beginning of your trek.

You change as a human being; you become a different person and the product at the end of the struggle is someone much stronger and different than at the beginning.

You change your understanding on values and ethics. You change everything that you hold true to yourself as it is all challenged. Every innocent thought that you may have ever had; or anything that you understood as being pure is gone.

It’s not gone for good nor do you become this old hag that hates everything you encounter. But the innocence of life is gone. It is gone and the struggle looks to be never ending, until you get that moment of redemption.

It’s not redemption from anyone else or the praise of false profits. But rather, the redemption is inside of you. The feeling that fills your body like Love does when it takes over. The beautiful thing about Love and redemption is that they both can not be forced. You cannot force yourself into loving someone.

You can not force yourself into feeling like you have conquered everything. There is too much pressure there for everything to work out at that point.

Redemption doesn’t come to you with fireworks or on a silver platter. Rather, it arrives subtly. You see it in the most mundane of things and it causes you the most happiness.

You cannot force yourself into a spark of emotion. No matter how obvious it appears to be logically, emotions are illogical. You cannot try and feel when there is nothing there to feel.

How can you be redeemed; when you don’t even trust yourself?

Love yourself. Trust yourself.

Understand that every journey has a moment of redemption. The Cardinals journey has spanned over 60 years and that moment is just arriving.

Do not become impatient and force anything. Don’t allow your mind to create an archetype of an emotion that you are supposed to like.

Don’t give in to the pressure and be true to yourself. Listen to no-one except the voice in your head and the movement of your heart.

Redeem yourself today!

Love ya guys and we shall talk again real soon.

Exorcism (by the Disciple)

http://nfl.fanhouse.com/2009/01/21/ghost-of-joe-bugel-forever-exorcised/

I know you shouldn't post a link to a blog from a different person; but I like to break all the rules. This article was sent to me by the Godfather, so I will not be taking the credit for finding it.

It is an amazing look into the true struggle of the founding members of Nation. It's never been this good; so soak it all up my friends.

Enjoy!

Perceptions (By the Disciple)

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/20/sports/football/20super.html?_r=1

Perceptions change on a daily basis. Once you think you have everything figured out; once you think you have the path set up and the plan is in place to succeed down it, the most unexpected thing in the world happens and everything in your world takes on a different shade.

Just because you were not expecting to have a chance at something; doesn't give you an excuse to run from it.

Nation was not supposed to be in this position; doesn't mean they can't make the most of it.

Re-LOVE (by the Disciple)

This is a re-post on my previous words. I just wanted to shed light onto this theme in light of where the Cardinals have led us as well as the celebration for President Obama.

Enjoy!

Love.

I think I am on a roll with one word titles. I am going to see if I could continue the pattern for the rest of the year. My first writing teacher in college would hate me for it, but what does he know, he only has books published and a career. I have a blog!

So, back on topic. The word again is linked with an emotion. It is a word that is just a word if you remove that emotion. In fact, without emotion behind it, the word is somewhat simple and boring. But, when the emotion enters the equation again it becomes the most beautiful word in the entire language.

They say that there is only one form of Love. That is the form of unconditional Love. That is a Love that never fades and is always there. It is the light that is in your heart that motivates you through the darkest of moments and it is the sensation that a memory or thought of a love one fills you with when you are completely alone.

Love never fades. It is something that never leaves you. When you truly Love something it doesn’t come and go like the fog of San Francisco. It is not an emotion that can change depending on the time of day. It is truly unconditional.

You cannot fall out of Love. You cannot one day look around and say, there is nothing around me beautiful enough to Love. That doesn’t happen, because unlike any of the other emotions, Love is not dependant on one person. You cannot Love something; that cannot Love you back. You can fear or hate or be happy or frustrated by something; and that something can have no idea it is causing you to feel this way.

But Love. That’s different. Once you Love something it is the truest expression of self as you are courageously exposing your soul to another.

I Love the Arizona Cardinals.

It is a Love that will never be compromised and no matter where my journey goes and who I meet down the road, they will always have a piece of my heart.

In the beginning of the season, and up until about eleven days ago, everyone else loved the Cardinals too. The Nation was growing and everyone was getting caught in the chaos of what might be and where this campaign may take us.

Then, we lose 2 games, everything gets turned upside down and those new members of Nation cashed in their cards. It’s not trendy or cool to support a team that is struggling.

The Cardinals have been out-classed the previous two games, one in front of the Nation on Thanksgiving. That is enough for the tarnish to be removed and the Honeymoon Period to be completely destroyed.

If you do research on relationships they break down into a structured pattern. It is a structure that happens in almost all relationships. Think back to your previous Love’s and see how accurate it is. But before we do that, you need to understand that the Honeymoon phase only exists for women and men will usually not feel this same way.

When a relationship starts, you both are smitten. You love doing everything together and you spend hours just talking. Everything you say to each other is profound and you complete each other in ways you never knew were possible.

This continues for a few months, depending on your personalities and time spent together. This is, in essence, the “Honeymoon phase.”

Once a woman begins to feel compromised in the relationship and the interest from the man lessens, confidence issues are created. She will go through an identity crisis and begin to lose her footing in the world around her. In the end, she becomes overwhelmed with the relationship.

At this point, it gets interesting. Does she stay around and truly Love you so you can work on the relationship; or does she flee and run away without ever turning back?

This is the usual tipping point for relationships. The timetable above is just based on research, but like anything is up for debate depending on the relationship. But the main goal of the research is this:

Do you stay in a relationship because you think it can work out and you love the other person; or do you run because it is too much work and you would rather repress whatever emotions you did or do have?

Now, if we link this research with that of the Cardinals this season it could be understood that those still here and battling are those who will fight for the Love.

They are the members of Nation that look at the Cardinals as more than a team that wins, but can identify with the struggle they face as a young team trying to build.

You have to look yourself in the eye and Love yourself before you can ever let anyone into your heart.

The Cardinals are learning to Love themselves. Despite the recent struggles, the Cardinals are still a team that is getting comfortable and confident with their positioning.

For a decade the Cardinals have been a team that have had the Nation love them. They were a team that never had confidence in themselves and the Nation was always there to try and pick them up. It’s a tough deal of it to unconditionally Love something and not have the Love returned to you only because they didn’t know how to express it.

The Cardinals are finding out how to express that Love this season.

They are returning the years and years of one-sided caring from the Nation with the hopes of a play-off birth and the possibility to finally make the Nation smile again.

It is a tough life to lead when everything you have learned to Love is taken away and you are constantly left heart broken. It will cause you to run when you feel Love, because you don’t trust the other person from doing what everyone else has down to that tainted heart.

What I say to that is, Love everything. Love everyone. Love is the only emotion you should feel everyday and if you allow yourself to Love, you will set yourself free. Everyone is different and when you find you are falling down that slippery slope of Love, just close your eyes and open your heart.

When your heart breaks, it’s not broken, just injured. The moments that caused you to feel that way for someone or something are not gone but repressed. You will always be loved if you remember the way that Love made you feel and the moments in the past will never be gone, but forever saved in your mind.

Concluding, this is simply about Love. Love everything and everyone. If you are fried and stressed, take a moment to meditate and get your self centered to the point of that first Love. Just remember how the look of the Love of your life would ground you and make you melt.

The moments are always in your memory, so use them when you are feeling overwhelmed.

Thanks and be Happy! Love something new today; it’ll open your eyes!

They've Arrived (By the Disciple)

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/19/sports/football/19nfc.html?_r=1

Joy (by the Disciple)

Joy

I know and express joy, unlimited and full of gratitude.

In our humanness, there are physical activities, events, and accomplishments that bring us joy. From our subtle giggles and chuckles with friends to our cheering shouts in a crowd, we unite in expressions of happiness. We exchange the jubilance of the human spirit with abilities to inspire one another, to thrive individually, and to expand joyfully amidst a multitude of life's happenings.

The joy of the Spirit is the greatest joy, because it is pure, deep, and powerful. In any moment--whether still or exuberant, happy or serious--we can experience the joy of Spirit. Allowing ourselves to acknowledge that God's spirit is within us, enfolding us, we know and express joy, unlimited and full of gratitude.

"I have indeed received much joy and encouragement from your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you, my brother."--Philemon 1:7

That was an excerpt from the Godfather of our Nation.

He sent it as a grounding sentiment for the work ahead.

I get caught up writing this blog. I get caught up reading and writing all of this philosophy and offering all this advice. That on many occasion I completely lose track of myself.

I completely neglect all of the advice that I offer. I write the words; but don’t understand the thoughts behind them.

I offer advice to those around me for what to do or how to handle a situation or a person. But, I haven’t been looking inside of myself. I have been too scared to apply any of the lessons I write about to the people that are closest to me.

I have lost the ability to be honest with myself because I am scared of being hurt. I am scared of being let down and scared of failure. I am scared of everything that I have written about and the exact moments I provide advice for.

Concluding, I am sorry to those who I continue to hurt. I am sorry for the actions that I continue to do. I am sorry to myself for being so weak and scared of everything I encounter.

I need to follow the lead of my friends and neighbors. I need to go the way of the Cardinals and follow Nation into the jungle of life without any security blanket for the future of our existence.

Someone told me recently that true love is never supposed to hurt. I will respond that true love always hurts; that’s how you know it is real.

I love you all and hopefully we will be celebrating another Sunday in which we shock the world.

Keep faith my friends!

It Has Happened Before (by the Disciple)

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/15/sports/football/15cardinals.html?_r=1

Another Member of Nation is Found (By the Disciple)

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/writers/joe_posnanski/01/14/cardinals/index.html?eref=T1

Slumdog's (By the Disciple)

Slumdog’s.

The Arizona Cardinals will be hosting the Philadelphia Eagles for the right to move onto the Super Bowl.

Let it marinate.

It is a moment that many have been waiting many years for and it has finally arrived. The game will be played on Sunday afternoon in front of 70,000 members of the Nation.

The Cardinals arrived at this moment by beating the Carolina Panthers in North Carolina. The Panthers were discusses as being the better team and the Cardinals were 10 point underdogs at the beginning of the contest.

The Panthers rushed out to an early lead and was out of the gates at 7 to nothing. The Nation let out a collective gasp and worried that the magic was over. Despite the deflation of spirit around the Nation; the Cardinals did not give up. They rallied and took a strangle hold of the game they would never relinquish until their plane landed safely home in the Valley of the Sun.

The Cardinals proved the entire planet wrong and won a road game against a quality opponent. A task that everyone thought was impossible. Now, when I say everyone I am meaning the people outside of the Nation.

Slumdog Millionaire is the best film of the year. In my humble opinion, it is by far the best film that I have enjoyed this year. The film is a love story. It is the theme that everyone can relate to as we’ve all been in love and heartbroken. If you’re lucky; it’ll happen more than once.

I will stop before I give too much of the film away for those who have yet to see it. But, understand this theme that everyone in the world can count you out and call you crazy for following your dreams; but if you believe it in your heart and your mind, anything can happen.

This is the theme that is carrying the Cardinals. The Cardinals were thought of as the worst team to ever make the play-offs. They were underdogs at home.

Then they won.

Big deal. Atlanta is no good. Next test . . . Carolina. Carolina had one of the best rushing offenses in the league and were flawless at home. The Cardinals had already traveled to North Carolina and lost this season, therefore history always repeats itself.

And it did . . . The Cardinals shocked everyone, again.

Take a guess as to how the storyline is developing this week. “The Eagles are this year’s Giants.” “The Eagles are without a doubt going to beat the Cardinals.” “The Cardinals should just be happy to be there and enjoy the game because it’ll be their last.”

Sports and life are very similar in the thought that when you are the most desperate you are the most dangerous. When you have everything stacked against you and little hope from the outside world, you produce your most gratifying work.

Take this blog for example. This was created a few weeks into the season as a method of release for fellow Nation brethren and myself. It was created as a release and a soundboard that I needed.

I needed this because the world as I knew it crumpled with the loss of a love. They say your greatest work comes out of the hardest struggle. I am an example of how true that statement is and how when everything appears to be at it’s worst, there is always Hope.

The Cardinals are an additional example of this. They had limped into the Play-offs and no one thought they would ever be dangerous. But, never underestimate your opponent and the heart of a desperate person, as once you have nothing to lose you stop fearing consequences.

The Slumdog’s of the NFL have nothing to fear. They are constantly underestimated. They are given no respect, but have to earn every ounce of recognition.

We all are slumdogs in our hearts. We will do whatever it takes to capture our dreams. We will fight for every inch. We are awarded nothing in this world. You want to change the world; go change it rather than sit back and wait for your chance.

Create your chance. No one can stop you when you are motivated to prove them all wrong.

This is your chance Nation. This is your chance Cardinals.

Take it.

Take it all on. Take on love and loss. Take on excitement and pain. Take on everything that scares you. It is time to get up and motivate behind the idea of Hope.

Take on Life!

I love you all and hope that next week we will continue with our Slumdogs.

Take care!

Line Them Up (By the Disciple)

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/columns/story?columnist=wojciechowski_gene&id=3825769&sportcat=nfl

And the spirit continues.

We are the Slumdog Millionaires of the NFL.

Keep the Hope as a dream never dies without a fight.

Nation!

There's something Happening Here (by the Disciple)

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/10/sports/football/10cardinals.html?_r=1

The feeling is in the air.

The game is a few hours away; will the Dream and Hope continue?

Stay Tuned!

Search (By the Disciple)

Search.

Ladies and gentlemen it has happened. Not only did the Cardinals make the play-offs; but they have advanced.

Everyone had the Cardinals out in the first round. Why did they even make the play-offs? “They are the worst team in the history to make it and will be beaten at home by Atlanta,” was the battle cry of the experts.

Well, I guess everything that was down is now up and the Cardinals are moving on.

The Nation played very well as they started early and finished strong. The Red Birds showed their age and immaturity in the second quarter; but did bounce back and took a strangle hold on the game in the third quarter.

The Cards will be moving on to face either the Carolina Panthers or the New York Giants. Both teams have beaten the Cardinals this year. Both games were very competitive and we can look forward to another tough contest next week.

The Cardinals won the game on Sunday because they found a new sense of self. They went on a journey of self-discovery this week and ended with the product that we witnessed against Atlanta. They established themselves as more than a passing team.

On Sunday the Cardinals established themselves as deeper than what is understood on the surface. The surface is never fully understood as it comes and goes too quickly to analyze. Establishing the running game created a level that no one new existed.

They searched within themselves and understood that everything comes down to the moment. The same moment that we are presented in every second of our life. We have the power to change.

Believe in Now!

Believe in the notion that you can do anything you want in any moment of your life. You have the power to live however you want or feel you should.

No one can ever tell you what to do. No one can ever control you or limit your possibilities. Take everything as it comes and understand that everything is connected. Everything will happen as it is supposed. We go on these journey’s to discover all of these lost items in our life.

We are constantly faced with despair.

You search for love.

You search for peace.

You search for faith.

You search for happiness.

We never find any of these things we are searching for as they are always an inch away. They are always a step ahead as they are not permanent destinations, but momentary glimpses of the possibilities. The search is the most satisfying as it is a journey for the endless and limitless thought of Hope.

The search is always conducted in the same manner with a stripping of everything around you. When you find yourself in the most horrible of situation you run.

You run from yourself and everything that is closest to you. If you are so unhappy it must be with the composition of your foundation. Therefore, you break it all down and are left with pieces to the whole of your life.

Then the search begins. The search to find your true identity. You search and try to do actions that caused you happiness in the past. You try and relive the memories of what made you smile and laugh in the past. But, you find out that you have changed. You are not the same person that you were before you hit your Dark Ages.

There is no reset button that places you back to the moment when you were happy. There is no formula that allows everything to make sense.

What is known is that you need to make the best of each moment. When a chance presents itself you need to seize it. You need to not be stubborn or run when you feel overwhelmed; but rather take on the energy head on and see if you are strong enough to survive.

From experience, we are always a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit for.

The Cardinals went searching for a reason to win the game on Saturday. That reason was the determination to prove the entire world wrong. The determination of a lack of respect.

When you are not given the respect you feel you deserve; you need to earn it through action. Words can only tell so much of the story, but actions will provide the theory of truth.

Think with you mind. Act with your heart. Follow yourself as you will always know deep down that the happiness and love of your life exists within your heart and your soul. There is nothing nor no one out there that can complete a fractured soul.

Love yourself.

Love others.

Make every moment the best.

Live with no regrets and always be honest with everyone; especially yourself!

Learn from the past. Build on the mistakes you made. Understand the future as endless possibilities to achieve the unthinkable.

Thank you and God bless. Go Red Nation and I’ll be rooting with you next weekend.